User blog:ClancHuranku/Clanc's Epic Reviews of History
WHAT'S UP B******?! I thought I should make a blog in this wiki, so... Here are my Epic Reviews of History, where I review the battles from Epic Rap Battles of History (In case that you didn't know) I hope you like it! Let's start with Season 1: :::::: Epic Rap Battles of History #1 :::::: Connection Left-wing vs Right-wing It's quite random but this type of matchup is common in Season 1 so deal with it Beat Not much to say, the intro is cool but the rest is meh... Ranking: 5.8 By the way I'll use a ranking system with the highest rank being a 7 Impersonations Just because it's the first battle I won't be harsh with this one. Lennon's costume is OK at best, but Peter didn't bother with the accent, plus he still sounds too much like Peter: 5.5 O'Reilly's costume is... mediocre, Didn't they had another wig or something? Like Lennon, he sounds too much like Lloyd: 4.8 Lyrics John Lennon: Help! You're making my ears bleed! You need a muzzle! (best opening wud lol, but this is not that strong compared to other lines) Why are you pissed off all the time? Didn't your mom give you a cuddle? (I'm suprised this wasn't a "Your Mom" joke, considering they didn't had much experience) You're the type of guy who could die of a heart attack just in the shower! (And another "Your angry af" line, change subjects damnit!) '' '''You need to chill out for a minute and smoke w33d for an hour!' (I don't think "shower" and "hour" rhyme perfectly though) Every time I watch your show, all you do is scream at me, ("You're grumpy and you make me m4d!) And your face looks like a sh1t I took, high on LSD! (The costume is bad, but saying that he's ugly af is something I'd see in most fanmade battles) I'm John Lennon; I'm a legend! I can see through all your tricks! (Seems like they tried to rhyme "Lennon" and "Legend" like they do in newer battles, points for trying) I wonder how much George Bush paid you to suck his d1ck! (As much as this battle's budget) Overall: 5.4'' '' Bill O'Reilly: You f*cking long hair, living in your yellow submarine! (But Lennon doesn't have long hair here, but anyways, nice reference to The Beatles, why couldn't lennon do the same?) Well, you're about to get sunk by the right-wing political machine! (And it shows that he's a machine! I think his only problem is his atrcious costume) Stop your presses, Lennon! You call me Mr. Bill O'Reilly! (He's right, don't show respect Lennon) When it comes to squashing Limeys, I come recommended highly! (It shows, O'Reilly's got more variety on the disses here) You're weak! Between you and me, there's no comparison! (It's not like you shouldn't say the opposite in a rap battle) I'll beat you so bad, you'll weep gently like George Harrison! (Is it me or Lloyd has better flow than Peter?) You're Paul McCartney's bitch with less talent than Ringo, (More Beatles references (even though he's just saying "u suk")! But what's with that dance tho?) And I'd rather suck George Bush's d1ck than Yoko Ono's! (While it may be saying that "ur wife iz a man", I think he's actually saying that Lennon was submisive to his wife, which some think it was the cause of the fall of The Beatles, good one) Overal: 5.6 John Lennon: Well, you can't buy me love, but I'll kick your ass for free. (While not that powerful, it's better than saying "ur grumpy" all the time, and here's a Beatles reference too!) I'll take Maxwell's silver hammer and give you a lobotomy! (Just a random threat, I don't think you can smash his head right now) I'm tired of how you scheme to stir the people up! (Agreed, but he raps better than you, you can't explain that (HOLY SH1T IF THEY REMAKE THIS BATTLE THEY BETTER USE THIS MEME)) '' '''Why don't you just take a vacation and shut the f*ck up?!' (B E C A U S E . Y O U . C A N ' T . S T O P . T H E . Racist R I G H T . W I N G) Overall: 5.5 Bill O'Reilly: Because I'm evil, heart blacker than Don Cheadle! (An example that just because ERB (or I) doesn't like them doesn't mean they can't rap better) Ten-thousand-dollar shoes I use to stomp out a Beatle! (Are you saying that you had special shoes just to diss it? What a waste of money) Don't tell me to shut the f*ck up! That's how I survive! (Well, I don't like how you survive) Now, here's Sting. What? F*ck it, we'll do it live! (...Why? This just came out of nowhere) Overall: 5.5 Overall: 5.4 Some weak lines here, but since it's the first battle I'm not harsh Winner: Bill O'Reilly RIGHT WING MASTER RACE I hope you liked this! Category:Blog posts